OVERCOMING SELF-CRITICISM

The onset of the new year may bring an influx of ideas around how to better yourself. It may also stir up powerful visions around what to do, accomplish or achieve. This all sounds great, and super inspiring, until your censor sets in. The term censor is most commonly attributed to author and artist, Julia Cameron. 

I find myself wondering if people eventually become unaware of how often self-criticism truly happens because it’s so persistent and inherent. I also wonder how often the chatter of the censor stops people from doing, creating, exploring, considering, beginning, suggesting … unfortunately, the list of verbs it might squash could go on and on. While the personal impact of the censor is massive, I think it’s also important to consider how this criticism hinders professional possibilities – meaning work performance in the sense of ideation, innovation, collaboration and just a general willingness to throw out that crazy idea which may in fact be epic. 

I’m well aware of the power of self-talk given the fact I’ve been a (proud) self-help junkie my entire life. Being in the health and wellness space, where my life’s work is dedicated to helping people move the needle on their goals and life satisfaction, exploration of self-talk and its effects is essential. Even though it is in fact self-criticism that frequently chimes in during moments of creation, I find it helpful to see this critic as an unwelcome guest – like an audience member who is in a foul mood – not an accurate representation of self. In the spirit of mindfulness (i.e., noticing free of judgment), I find it helpful to notice the critic, name it (like, “oh, hi, censor”) and then return to the interest at hand.  

In time, through noticing and resuming pursuits nonetheless, one can hope the censor’s shouting interruptions get hushed and eventually become indistinguishable. Brené Brown talks about this as well … about being “in the arena” and feeling as if that critic has the front row seat every time. In the famous Theodore Roosevelt speech (“Man in the Arena”) which Brené shines a spotlight on, there’s reference to the criticism of others as well. “It is not the critic who counts,” he says. So, whether thinking about the outside observer of your work, or your own thoughts about it, this quote holds true.  

In summary, step one is to notice. Step two is to carry on despite the criticism … repeatedly. Through exposure and consistency, I believe we really can silence this inner criticism or the fear of outside critics. The trick is combining willingness, time and attention. It takes time (perhaps even portions of a lifetime) to achieve mastery. I don’t offer this up to depress, but rather to provide reassurance that progress doesn’t come overnight. It’s day-by-day. Staying the course demands a gritty attitude, a growth mindset, some confidence and a whole lot of self-love. 

I feel called to help myself and others to get unstuck, and I have no choice but to believe that overcoming self-criticism does just that. For more on self-help and bringing wellness to work, continue to check in with us as we are dedicated to just that, and especially so as we celebrate the new year. 

Cheers, my dears! 

Author: Katy Tombaugh

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