LESS LONELINESS, GREATER CONNECTION AT WORK & IN LIFE
I distinctly remember sitting in a classroom in 1991 or so (for reference I was 11 at the time) and thinking about what the future would be like – not for me personally, but as a culture. There was already buzz about the century ahead and how advancements in science and transportation would have the average American visiting the moon for fun and zooming through the air like The Jetsons.
By 1999, the biggest advancement (to my memory) was the possession of a cell phone that I routinely carried with me all day. I certainly didn’t engage with that phone like I do today, but it was a major pop culture evolution. Then came the PalmPilot and the BlackBerry – I had to have each of those, too!
Fast forward another couple of decades and it is communication – not space travel – that has radically transformed our culture. And sure enough, that prediction that we would see each other during a phone call sure did come true. I share all of this because I see a world in which we are seemingly more connected to others than ever before. We can virtually connect with thousands of people across the globe weekly if we want. The volume of connection touch points is high, but I’m concerned the quality is grossly low. Although we are more physically connected (in theory), I fear we are also more emotionally disconnected (in reality).
I don’t share this perspective to be a “negative Nancy.” I share it because I want to personally be more intentional about how I connect with others, and I want to ensure that all involved feel (1) it was time well spent – valuable, (2) that it served an important purpose – meaningful and (3) it was safe for everyone to be themselves – authentic.
Survey data from 2019 (pre-pandemic, mind you) revealed a startling statistic on loneliness in America. More specifically it revealed that 58% of Americans reported often feeling that no one in their life knew them well. I feel strongly that combating this loneliness epidemic is a massive opportunity; and this opportunity exists in any group, workplace or community we frequent.
“Loneliness does not come from having no people around you, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to you.”– Carl Jung
According to a comprehensive report on loneliness and the workplace, the costs of loneliness are high, resulting in missed days at work, lower quality of work, lower productivity and higher turnover risk. In this same report, Cigna identifies work satisfaction, co-worker relationships and work-life balance as being three key areas to influence when seeking to ensure less loneliness and greater connection.
Here are my recommendations for positively impacting you and your workplace with cultivating connection:
Promote “big talk” over “small talk.” When we’re only talking about the weather (for the hundredth time) or how much we overate at the Super Bowl party, I’m pretty sure we’re not truly getting to know one another. While social norms teach us not to dive right into TMI (too much information) there is a middle ground where you can discuss hobbies, interests, projects and ideas that you’re passionate about. In other words, stay incredibly curious about what matters most to folks.
Help people to realize that they are an important part of many teams at work. Regardless of introverted or extroverted tendencies, people yearn to be seen and to be a part of something. Title, job function, seniority or age aside, it’s important for people to feel and believe they are a part of not just the team but many teams at work and in life. Gratitude and other words of appreciation are a strong start, but I’d encourage any workplace to consider how leaders interact with others and how peers can get quality time with one another to further strengthen a sense of belonging and camaraderie. Ideally everyone feels like “they have my back and I have theirs.”
Invest resources (time, money and energy) into teaching people how to communicate – and most importantly, model exceptional communication as often as possible. There are infinite ways in which sharing information (verbally, written or though body language) can be misrepresented, misunderstood, unclear, fear-provoking or just plain hurtful. Whether done intentionally or unintentionally, they can be equally damaging. Therefore, people working with others must have the tools to have difficult and potentially uncomfortable dialogue to work through moments of confusion, stress, anxiety and isolation. In the words of Mr. Rogers, “If it’s mentionable, it’s manageable.” At the end of the day, we must feel empowered to initiate those conversations because we care about the relationship that much. In other words, allow strong communication skills (within the organization) to have a protective effect on all involved.
Sources: Science of People and Cigna
Want to explore this and other areas of opportunity further – I love to connect with you one on one!
Author: Katy Tombaugh